there's paper in my vomit.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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