I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
