So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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