I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
