I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
