We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
