Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
