Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
