I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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