Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
