This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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