I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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