I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
