ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
