perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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