What tipped you off? The sombrero?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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