Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
