why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
