Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
