i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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