If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
