I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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