They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
