it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How's work?
Spinning.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
