weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I would fuck him just for his dog
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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