She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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