you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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