I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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