i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
