I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
