Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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