i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
