if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
