He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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