Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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