I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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