apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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