I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have feelings that need drinking.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
