I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
