Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
