you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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