Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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