I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
