Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
