At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Drunk is not a location!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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