Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
