He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
