His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
