these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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