Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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