she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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