I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
