Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
