I cockslap morals
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I could fuck to npr.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
