My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
